When you’re a reader as you look back across time, you can spot the moments in your ‘book life’ that changed you. The time you were forced to read some Mark Twain and you realized why everyone thought he was so funny: because he was; an attempt at a critically acclaimed classic like Slaughterhouse Five or A Clockwork Orange…whether you actually got through them or not; the first time you went through Matthew on your own without the flannel-graph; or even reading Romans for your own personal growth with Christ, rather than looking up verses to impress the young man or woman sitting next to you with your spiritual prowess. For me, Call to Commitment was one of those books. Within the first pages, the history of these followers is laid out, and we can run alongside the narrative the pieces of our own story that we know, and be both greatly encouraged that we are not the first to struggle down this road and there is a body of work to speak to who we are trying to be, and secondarily we may be stung by the slap of reality: where we are failing even now and are not even the first to accomplish that.
I, for example, am as guilty as the day is long of treating people like commodities. I was reading the story in the second to last chapter of the Filipino girl who helped at the Christmas party and couldn’t get over how much she was wanted. (pp 177) I think that I don’t fall down in wanting people around, but I do fail miserably at extending Christ’s love, not mine. I can appreciate their skills, their personality, their stories and teachings, but rarely without the ramifications of what they have to offer can do for me and mine. Their skills are an opportunity to lift the weight of practical needs from us; their personality could be an opportunity to increase visibility and legitimacy to “our cause;” their stories are textbook information on what to do or not do with one’s life. These are the ways the small, concrete, self-serving mind of my old self filters new gifts from Christ in the form of people. The book speaks to this even in the beginning chapters: “’Now we ought to get hold of this person because he would be just right to help us with some project.’ This is a dangerous feeling. We never need people simply to help us with a task which we have to do...People must never become means to an end.” (pp24-25) In the same vein of attitude, O’Connor relates a story about a child who discovers she’s missing the point of their whole lives together when she is read the introduction to the working copy of the book: “’Every Sunday morning people want to talk to me, but I’m in so much hurry, I tear by and I’m missing out on all the wonderful fabric you tell about.’…The truth that she had grasped was that it is possible to live in the midst of God’s gifts and never to claim them.” (pp 93)
We do a great disservice to those we’re called to serve, if we see them solely as part of the equation that completes a goal. They are souls with a beauty and uniqueness we will never even scratch the surface of understanding in this life. To take credit for how they fit into the tapestry of our story will only result in a threadbare and poorly woven tapestry.
I confess to feeling this way routinely. I like I am most genuinely in love with people when they are relying on me and “my own” beauty or talent or intelligence is highlighted. I love talking about myself and the sound of my own voice. I wasn’t designed to be this way, and I see the glimmer of a hope outside myself and inside of the Lord when other people talk about me.
In all things of Christ, there is a glimmer of hope for this uncertain world. The shining rays of hope from Call to Commitment that stood out to me can be summarized thus: what we are doing can be and has been carried out in lives that have gone before ours. It’s been true for another group that “The medium of evangelism would be our common life.” (pp112) The philosophy of the Potter’s House is “We will serve you, we will be with you…We are not afraid of you…You can come and ask your questions. You can come and vent your hostilities. We will be with you six nights a week. We will serve you we will love you, we will pray for you and if by chance you ask the reason for the hope that is in us, we will talk to you, but the talking will come at that end of the scale. We will…be where you can find us. We will live a little chunk of our life where you can watch what is going on, see whether we know anything about the mercy of God…You come, and observe, and test us. We will not protect ourselves.” (pp114)
That people found it right to embody this philosophy for their neighbors and have successfully continued in the faith is pure joy to me. I envision our futures very bright. I envision them full of heartbreaking memories as well as ecstatic celebrations, and I am glad to (experientially) know the sisters and brothers alongside whom I will celebrate this life and whatever the Lord leads us into in his country.
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