Teddy Dickerson's Call to Commitment Reflection

The Jade

“You cannot surrender to God a self you do not know. This was surely also in the design of community, that we might find ourselves in the mirror of that community. It was as we shared the common life that one unredeemed area after another came to light. The joy of involvement was interwoven with the pain of it. Raw edges rubbed against raw edges.” Pg. 93

I don’t experience myself, so the need for community is imperative; people that will honestly and lovingly be editors in my life. Looking into this community the image of Christ is reflected and as I look into the mirror I see the ways I get in the way of being part of the reflection of Christ. The reflection of Christ creates an implicit criticism that in the past has driven me to places of self-pity and sadness. As Elizabeth O’Conner says in the last sentence of this quote, joy is interwoven with pain, I am continually reminded of Nehemiah 8 and what the Levites communicated, “Go and enjoy…” I give thanks for the courage that gets poured into me from these parallel thoughts as they continue to transform my mind and heart to find joy in enlightenment…the bitch.

The Skybox

“It is only as we pray for each person in our group that we gain the pastor’s heart, and are enabled to put something of self aside.” Pg. 129

“We had ceased to be the Christian Church when we were no longer seeking to give our lives away.” Pg. 46

These are a few of the quotes from Call to Commitment that force me to look at who I am living this life for; myself or Christ and those He loves? When I live for myself I have this inflated image of myself that makes it almost impossible to give any part of me away. Also in this selfishness, what hope is there to have a pastor’s heart for those around me? The people and relationships around me exist for me and me alone. Pray? Well, as long as it helps me then I will pray. These quotes challenge my greatly in how they shed light on the areas of my life that I need to die to. This is why I got Philippians 1:21 tattooed on my arm, to have a constant reminder that I desire to continue to step towards Christ and living this life for Him and not myself.