Call to Commitment reflection
Elizabeth O’Connor’s eloquent writing paints a vivid picture in my mind and heart of what leadership should look like in the Church. I am deeply convicted then, as I ponder her writings and compare them to my own life and leadership among this local reflection of the Body. She speaks of those who win people to Christ and not just organizations as those who are “abandoned to God, contagiously radiant because in their inner lives a conversation goes on with Him who is Lord.” People who invite you into His presence and almost cause you to worship (pg. 85). I am convicted that to embody the Gospel in every way is who the church, and thus those who comprise it, is to be. Am I? Do I? And if this is what the lives of all Christians is to look like, then how much more a leader and Pastor? A leader cannot ask of his/her people that which they are not also requiring of, and already practicing themselves. Christ has demonstrated for us that leadership comes in the giving away of our lives. Lead through demonstration of service.
The qualities of leadership that Pastor Gordon gave were to find the internal issue, to take hostility, to accept others where they are, the ability to sort issues, a willingness to fail, and a deep caring for people (all people). I know that I am in process as well, but I find myself to be an unworthy leader as I match myself up with these criteria. And perhaps, I need to first learn to be willing to fail so that I can be freed to try. This discovery is not easy to admit and O’Connor even mentions Hebrews 12:11 that discipline is painful at the time but it produces righteousness and joy. As I reflect, I recognize a need for further discipline, or “purposeful responses to life and to the grace of God” (pg 34). If I am to be a leader, I must first follow, and spiritual disciplines are tools that aid in matching us up with the cross and producing humility.
Conviction was always paired with great encouragement as I read through Call to Commitment and found us in its pages. We are a young community discovering what it means to be the Church, and to be family. There are many parallels in our stories which, in itself, brings encouragement to know that there are those who have gone before and who understand the process. We can gleam from their failures and successes, their visions and convictions, their love and their life together.
As we trudge through framework development and the creation of structures, I was especially encouraged to read Chapter 15 where they blatantly pointed out that the structures they were building may come tumbling down. Pastor Gordon’s response to concern of this was simply “that which is in God cannot be shaken. If it is not of God, then let us praise Him when it collapses so we can get on to the next thing…”(pg 178). This concept gives me much encouragement knowing that there is a natural death cycle in a church that is alive. If we are alive enough that things are changing and dying, then Praise God that we are actively seeking Him and new ways of loving. This goes for those things in our own lives as well. May we always be in prayer that that which is not of Christ would cease to exist among us so that, after the painful pruning process, there is room for new life to take root and begin to grow with all vitality and purpose.
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